How do we shut up the 🐗
😠 Rant
What is it about the instruction, ‘you have one minute each’ that is so hard to understand?
My heart sank in a small group discussion last week. I’d come to learn, not hear his life story. He did not draw breath. His eyebrows shot up in surprise when we were pulled back to the main room.
I love being a participant in workshops and training. I love learning from deep discussions with other people.
If I wanted to listen to one person, there are lots of speeches by great orators that I could listen to.
Monologues in small group discussions are not contributions.
I live and breathe facilitation. I know how to shut the hogs up (thanks for that handy label Adam Voight). Sometimes they don’t even know I’m doing it, other times I have to be quite direct.
But I want a break from facilitating when I’m a participant.
It’s obviously a bigger issue about people’s self-awareness. Not something anyone can raise in a ten-minute small group discussion.
So, what are the options?
If you’re facilitating or hosting, be super clear. Even more so online. In addition to the topic and one question for the group, here are some instructions I use – I’d love to hear yours.
⌛ There are xx people in a room.
⌛ You have xx minutes.
⌛ That means you have xx minute each.
⌛ Speak in reverse alphabetical order (or the person with the shortest hair, biggest earrings, brightest top, etc goes first).
⌛ One of you keep an eye on the time.
⌛ Watch (or listen) to the time keeper.
But that’s where my influence ends. I can’t sense how a small group discussion is going online like I can when facilitating in person. While that has some advantages for participants – no pesky facilitators interfering with the flow of a conversation – I can’t intervene, discreetly or overtly, shut up the hogs.
And it’s not that helpful to complain to the facilitator, by the chat function or afterwards, that ‘I didn’t get to contribute’.
It looks like we as participants have to develop a little more facilitative muscle. What can we do to self-facilitate our small group conversations? If the host or facilitator doesn’t do it for us:
⌛ Quickly work out how much time each of us have to contribute.
⌛ Volunteer to watch the time.
⌛ When the timekeeper gives you the signal – shut up and let someone else talk.
⌛ Call it. Speak up (does that make you gulp a little too?).
By now, we all know that we have to have our camera at eye level when we’re in an online meeting or workshop (don’t we?). I wonder if we can make it a habit to watch the time? I wonder if we could be brave enough to interrupt someone who’s dominating?
Equal air time, over time, comes up in the last of my riffs on facilitation with Rebecca Sutherns. It’s not just about everyone having a say. Having the sense that there is space for all to have their say contributes to the psychological safety in a group.
If you’d like to hear more, click here.
Rant over.
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I can help in three ways:
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Image credit: Jacinta Cubis