Swamped

Last time I wrote to you, I talked about the impact of a dialogue diva on me and our small group.

Another thing happened in the same group at the same workshop that left me feeling ignored.

Swamped even.

Our task as a group was to nominate what elements of a framework we’d like to keep, remove or change.

Everyone else wanted to keep the only word I wanted to remove.

We’d agreed on most other elements of the framework. This was the only one where we differed.

I stated my reasons. They were polite. They listened.

But numbers ruled. I was overruled. The conversation moved on. I was left hanging. I felt foolish, then a bit resentful.

I couldn’t do anything with my point of view. I had nowhere to put it.

Cartoon by: Jacinta Cubis

As my group moved on, I wondered about Katie* and if she had felt the same.

She was the only one in a group of 40 I facilitated who had a different view to almost everyone else about one aspect of children’s playgrounds in their city.

It was several years ago, so I forget exactly what the issue was. What I can’t forget is Katie’s* pleas to the rest of the group to consider her viewpoint.

She was given the floor and time. She did her best to persuade them. They understood her views. They empathised. But they could not be moved.

Neither could Katie.

I had to acknowledge this and move on. We had a lot of work to get through.

It was a deliberative process and Katie had the option to articulate her view in a ‘minority’ report. It had somewhere to ‘go’.

But what do we do with other dissenting points of view in a process that’s not deliberative and where there is less time?

Here’s a few things that can help.

🔸 Create a clear place in the room, or on the screen, where people can ‘put’ their different point of view. It’s reassuring for people to see their view captured. It’s interesting to see how full this space gets. Could be time to re-focus attention on the different points of view.

🔸 If you’re asking a group to reach agreement, it’s worth talking about how messy conversations can get. As Sam Kaner says, ‘sometimes the mere act of acknowledging the existence of the Groan Zone can be a significant step for a group to take.’

🔸 Invite different groups to list only the ‘pros’ or ‘cons’ of one point of view, regardless of their own opinion. Pair up the ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ and give them a few minutes each to state their ‘case’. Reflect as a group on what they might have learned. It’s a structured way to help people see other’s perspectives.

Love to hear what you’d suggest.

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And to close, a question for you. Apart from the ‘how’ and the ‘icebreaker’ question, what other questions do you get asked as a facilitator? Or what questions are you dying to ask a facilitator? I’d love to hear.

Thanks for reading this far.

Stay (fl)awesome!