Nothing doing
Being comfortable with doing nothing is a rare skill.
It doesn’t come naturally to me. That won’t come as a surprise to you if we’ve worked together. Energy could be my middle name and I have been compared to coffee!
So, I’ve had to tame my ‘doing’ instinct when I facilitate.
Based on my rigorous polling (thanks for the chats friends 😊) this rings true for a many a facilitator. How about you?
If you’re lucky, it could come naturally to you, like it does my partner. He can sit quite comfortably with his thoughts.
He tends to jump to action when I come home, and do whatever domestic job is on his list. Washing up, cooking or hanging out the washing. His response to the ‘beep’ of the roller door going up when I come home on my bike is almost Pavlovian– endearingly so.
Mum told me that she and her siblings had a similar reaction when their dad came home. Grandma, her mum, had quite a pronounced limp as a result of having polio as a child. She had six kids pretty much one after the other after marrying in her late 20s.
Six kids, as mum tells it, that learned to jump into action quick smart when my grandad got home. They had to look busy ‘helping mum’.
This sort of jumping to attention and action seems a bit guilty. Tim, my partner, feels guilty when he hears the ‘beep’. I feel guilty when I hear him spring to action.
Too much guilt never helped anyone.
At a workshop other night, I could feel the guilt of ‘doing nothing’ itching at me when we were standing around, looking at each other, while the group worked.
Some of the support crew were as comfortable as my partner. Others looked as guilty as my mum and her siblings if they were caught ‘doing nothing’ by their dad.
If you’re doing what looks like ‘nothing’ when you’re facilitating, don’t feel guilty. Feel prepared. I’ve said it before that the effort you put into designing your workshop reflects in less effort in the actual room.
But if you find yourself jumping to attention and moving towards the groups at work, here’s a tip. Leave the room. Literally.
They will be fine.
Leave. Them. Be.
Do nothing so they can do something. Listen. Talk. Explore. Imagine. Ideate. Write.
To the point where someone in the room can say, ‘where was the facilitator?’
That’s one sign for me that I’ve served the group and their purpose well.
Hey! Have we met yet? If not, let’s book a chat to talk about your facilitation dreams for 2023. What gatherings are you imagining? I’d love to help. Book a 15-minute call with me HERE or just reply to this email with ‘2023’ in the subject line and I’ll be in touch.
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