Nobody is perfect. Meet the Flawsome Facilitator
‘Get a facilitator!’
Translation: ‘It’s broken and we need someone to fix it – now!’
If you facilitate – every day or every so often – you know that expectations on you can be high. Unrealistic even.
Doesn’t matter if it is leadership training, a strategy day or a collaborative session to spark ideas.
As the facilitator, you are expected to wave your magic wand and ‘find the solutions to our problems’.
Probably in a half day workshop. Next week 😲.
The effects of facilitation can seem miraculous but (drum roll), facilitators don’t wave magic wands.
You’re not a magician, despite what you might have been told by grateful clients and colleagues.
At our best, facilitators are like guides. So rather than ‘abracadabra’ the most magical words you utter as a guide are things like:
👐🏼 What’s needed now?
👐🏼 Tell me more.
👐🏼 And what else?
Easy! Not quite.
It takes a lot of practice, a lot of trial and error, for these words to come out of your mouth as your default choice. And to know when to speak them, and when to say nothing.
I can’t give you a books of spells or give you a magic wand.
But I can share my mud map. I call it the Flawsome Facilitator. Because nobody's perfect.
I hope this map helps you to navigate ‘you’ as you facilitate.
❓ Where are you most comfortable?
❓ Where might you need to shift to, to serve the group best?
I’ve shared with you in a previous blog that I started out as a bit of a crowd pleaser. I was as nervous as a kid in a school play. I so wanted the applause that I think I chased it. I just wanted the group to like me, as Audrey Hepburn said.
The other day, I leaned into being more of an umpire. The group was so tired, so lacking in energy. They needed a bit more instructive direction. With a click of my fingers (my metaphorical whistle), they were up, writing all over the white board together.
I knew I was doing it. It was an intentional shift from ‘guide’ to ‘umpire’. I judged that the group needed it. Correctly, as it turned out. Conversations sparked, energy lifted.
As well as the guide, umpire and crowd pleaser, I’ve introduced you to the dictator in my blog.
It’s a strong word. I’m exaggerating for effect. It helps me to be aware of the impact if my authority as a ‘guide’ veers towards authoritarianism.
You might not wake up feeling like a guide. Your manager, your client or the group may have different expectations. You may have to play a few different roles.
As my fellow facilitator, Mirjam Leunissen , suggested, you may need to go on a bit of a journey with a group. Starting as a bit of a crowd pleaser to build rapport, moving in between umpire and dictator, as needed, all the while aiming to spend most of your time as a guide.
It depends on so many things:
🔸 Whether you’re having a good or bad day.
🔸 If you got enough sleep.
🔸 If your morning routine was interrupted.
🔸 How the group’s behaviour and what they are saying affects you.
🔸 Your manager’s and client’s expectations.
If you start off feeling like a bit of a dictator, run through this quick check list. Does the group need you to be more instructive, rather than engaging, or are you choosing control to suit you, your manager and client, rather than the group?
About the only thing you can really control with a group, is yourself.
Another way to think of it is choosing between four different hats.
Which ‘hat’ will serve the group best?
Each type has different signs for you to look out for to see where you are leaning. Here’s a couple of signs I’ve spotted in myself and others .
Have you ever acted like this? Said stuff like this? Thought it? Can you catch yourself if you do?
Facilitators serve the group. But you can be so busy serving the group that you may not take time out to consider how you are facilitating.
Here’s a couple of questions to get you started:
What am I like as a facilitator?
Have I ever asked anyone?
If I haven’t, who can I ask?
What do people in my groups say?
How do they act?
What do I hear, see and sense from them?
What’s the best thing someone’s ever said to me after I’ve facilitated a workshop?
What’s the worst thing? Don’t know? Imagine what could be the worst thing.
I hope the Flawsome Facilitator mud map helps you to be more intentional about how you’re facilitating. I’d love to hear. And if you can think any of the four types might do or say. Comment below or drop me a line at jacinta@jacintacubis.com
I’m looking forward to hearing what people say at my session at the Never Done Before Never Done Before facilitation festival. Join me if you’re curious, 18 November, 6pm AEDT.
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